Archive for March, 2006

Grow up

Friday, March 31st, 2006

Dear Mr. Husband-on-strike,

I would like to take this opportunity to ask you to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. You did get your wife pregnant, didn’t you? Let me tell you a little secret. The world doesn’t revolve around you. That’s it. That’s the secret. The sooner you figure that out the sooner you’ll stop getting up on your roof and broadcasting to literally the rest of the world how much of a jackass you really are. Let me tell you another secret; there’s a seniority system in a family and baby trumps daddy every time. Please grow up and take responsibility for your child. It’s not even a 50/50 timeshare commitment on your end. I speak from experience that mommy and baby spend about 75% of the time together and you get the other 25%, if that. You couldn’t get more time with your baby if you wanted it.

I don’t know if you were there to witness the birth of your child. I saw mine and all I can say is, “That must have hurt!” The last thing your wife wants to do for the next two years is even think about having sex with you again. I understand that you have needs; we all do. But, you must understand that you don’t matter. Cry me a river. You willingly gave up your 23 chromosomes. You’ve done your job. Go do something else, and please stop filling up the airwaves and wasting Internet bandwidth with stories of how you are so disadvantaged. Grow up for once.

Sincerely,

Ryan Wilkins