Mommy, juice for YOU!

Lauren woke up around 4 this morning. She came and climed into bed with me, but had a hard time going back to sleep. Around 5:30 she was finally sleeping, but then Ryan rolled over and woke her up again… aaaah! I gave up trying to help her back to sleep, and she got off the bed and ran off to do whatever it is that 2 year olds do best… which is usually trouble.

At 6 I asked Ryan to get up and go keep her busy so I could at least rest until 7. Moments later, Lauren reappeared in the bedroom saying, “Here Mommy, juice for YOU!” and plunk! plop! I felt a plastic bottle against my back. And then a second plastic bottle. Something *clicked* that this wasn’t right. Oh yah, then I felt the liquid. I screamed. Ryan bolted out of bed. I couldn’t roll over for fear of the mess I knew was growing on my back, and I couldn’t roll forward because of my big 39.5 weeks pregnant belly in the way.

Lauren had brought me 2 bottles of “juice” that she found under the kitchen sink. Well, like my mother, and her mother, I keep lots of things under the sink… dishwasher detergent, other cleaning products, extra sponges, trash bags, and oil. Yes, oil. Vegetable oil, corn oil, olive oil, things that drip and make messes out of pantry shelves…

And like any helpful girl, she had pulled the lids off in the kitchen, picked up both bottles, and managed quite skillfully to get them all the way to the bedroom with out spilling a drop. She’s been practicing this two-arm hold on things – carrying one item in each hand, sometimes a third in her mouth.. but with baby dolls and stuffed animals, not bottles of oil!

So like I said, I screamed when that *click* happened, and Ryan jumped out of bed, ran over, grabbed the bottles and RAN for the kitchen. He then slammed the bottles down on the counter or in the sink, and headed back for Lauren.

By then I had managed to roll over without rolling in too much mess, and was taking the sheets off the bed to start laundry for the day. Sheets in hand, I headed down the hall to put them in the wash, and I found oil dripping down the front of the dryer. Odd… especially since our dryer is stacked on top of the washer and I’m pretty sure even if Lauren had been using a super soaker to spray oil she wouldn’t have been able to hit the dryer.

Yah, odd was right. Turns out Lauren had hardly made any mess at all. There were little puddles of oil on the kitchen floor where she left the caps, and a big puddle of oil in the bed, it was Ryan running around and slamming the bottle down that made most of the mess. On the bedroom floor and the hall carpet he left drips. The resulting splash from the counter slam left oil on the hall ceiling, the walls, the washer and dryer, the kitchen cabinets, the fruit bowl and knife block, the fridge and light switches and sink, and then when he threw the bottles in the trash, he dripped across the floor and down the wall by the window.

So at 6 o’clock in the morning we are all up, and all cleaning. Laundry in, Ryan scrubbed walls and ceilings, I took my soap and rag to the cabinets and counters. There are still some spots in the hall and bedroom on the carpet needing cleaned, and still at least 2 or 3 loads of laundry to do. And no more oil for making cupcakes. I haven’t looked at the walls and ceiling yet to see how they dried.

How is it that my 32 year old husband makes 10x the mess of my 2 yr old child?

To make it more fun, after Ryan left for work Lauren was climbing up and down on her step in the kitchen… but I had pulled up all the rugs to wash them, so she was able to slide her step anywhere she wanted. She slid right over to the side she never gets to play on, and climbed up. And dumped and poured everything she found. Luckily the only thing she found that she could open was a cruet of vinegar, which was promptly poured all over the counter.

I gave her a dry rag and let her clean it up. At least that side of the counter (which actually didn’t get any oil on it) has now been properly disinfected with a vinegar wash.

Maybe she wasn’t wanting to give me juice after all, maybe she’s just aspiring to create a new and fantastic salad dressing?

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